I need 6 months vacation, twice a year.
now we’re talking
i failed at raising a tamagotchi how the fuck am i supposed to raise a child
*deletes selfie like it never happened*
i accidentally spilled monster energy drink in my fish bowl and now my goldfish won’t stop saying “bro” and keeps flexing it’s fins
You know what the Green Heron is basically the best heron because it is like 90% neck so when it is all folded down it looks like a giant head with wings and legs
but then suddenly ZOOP
fucking green herrons
What the fuck
How the fuck
Is that some food in the distance…or are you happy to see me?
okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl
female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.
so in conclusion
if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick
THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE POST
an hour is only 600 vines long